The fall of life

Bijoy and Suchitra drove into a mall in an area where they first moved in after their marriage many years back. They now live in their own house, a big apartment, little far from the centre of the city, where they live a typical retired life. This was their first outing from house in a long time. Bioy’s bouts of high fevers had come and gone of its own for several months; undiagnosed by doctors but that affected Bijoy and Suchitra equally, physically and mentally. After so many years of togetherness they realised that whether it is a physical or mental pain one partner isn't affected alone; everything affects all.

Suchitra was pleasantly surprised that Bijoy agreed easily to her idea of stepping out of the house. Bijoy was actually keen to give Suchitra a reprieve from the routine of caregiving that had become their life - checking temperature, taking medicines, taking carefully prepared diets, visits to doctors and sitting for long hours together in which they would say nothing but understand everything. 

Bijoy wanted to drive the car and Suchitra agreed as she knew this would make him happy. Nostalgia filled Suchitra’s eyes as they saw young, newly wed couples in the mall. You could always tell them from others - excitement jumping in their eyes, a spruce in their steps, eager to set their homes, looking at different options, discussing colours, designs - ‘where it fit it the home’, ‘what needs to be bought next’, ‘what will go well with what’.

Many years back, they had done the same when Suchitra came to Delhi after their marriage and was busy setting up Bijoy’s one room ‘barsaati’. This energy continues even into the other rented houses they moved in, adding furniture, paintings, vases, kitchen items, glasses, cutlery and many many things collected over the years. They had always carefully thought about the things, chosen, selected and bought the things together. All the things in their home, truly belonged to both of them. They were more of memory aides - they would often slip into past, when Suchitra would be dusting or cleaning one of them and recall how they had bought or arranged for a thing, how they decided the design, where they got it from and how they or at least Suchitra bargained for the price. 

Suchitra was very happy to see a beautifully set up store with colour co-ordinated themes and aesthetically designed objects which were of liking to both's tastes. There were many objects of utility as well. She went from one floor to the other and came down, touching the objects, flipping some, looking at price tags, marvelling at them, commenting on the design, comparing sizes and keeping them back. Bijoy kept pace with Suchitra despite his weakness and nodded in agreement or remained silent in disapproval.
He finally muttered ‘You have inspected pretty much the entire store. Won’t you take anything?’
‘I feel we have everything. Don’t you?’ Suchitra looked up at him from the corner of her eye.
‘Yeah, I mean we may not have some of the new designs or patterns, but we more or less have everything we need’, Bijoy gave a wry smile.
‘Right, I just want this ‘peeler’. This should make the toughest part of cutting fruits for you in the morning easy.’ Suchitra smiled back.

As they drove back, Suchitra reflected upon their conversation and wondered if they really had everything they need!  Yes, one always has new desires and there many things you would have otherwise but they were more or less content. They had thought of many plans of either settling in some other city - there were debates about whether it should be a city near sea or in the mountains but there was nothing that created an aching or longing in them now. There was nothing missing. On the road, she saw a big tree that had lost all its leaves and was making a brilliant picture against the bright blue sky with its dry, white-grey branches spread out of a massive trunk. She wondered if this was the effect of fall or the tree had been like this forever.
After they came home, they had lunch and rested for a while in the afternoon. Bijoy suggested they go for a walk in the park. Now it was Suchitra’s turn to agree and she put out a nice cotton saree and a matching blouse to wear. Bijoy was putting on his kurta and pyjamas and remarked
‘We are only going to the park’
‘I know, but I haven’t worn this saree for ages and its not like we are going for a run or something. Why can't I put on a nice saree’ Suchitra replied.

'Yes, why not ! you certainly can.' Bijoy was happy.

The park was busier than usual. It seemed that the local residents had organised a small outdoor gathering. The kids were running around with their playthings, the womenfolk were busy chatting and taking out savouries from the beautiful picnic bags, the men were eating and playing cards. Bijoy and Suchitra were watching all of them sitting at a bench silently. There were a few dogs that slipped in and out of the bench next to them, there were a few birds chirping happily that they have come home, the sun was resting on the western horizon, taking a last look at this part of the world and blowing a farewell kiss towards everyone through the cool evening breeze.

Suchitra saw a gush of dry yellow leaves from a neem tree fall down next to where Bijoy was sitting. The leaves formed beautiful patterns while falling, rolling about their axis, aided by the mischievous breeze. The fall continued for a while. Suchitra thought about the trees and fall. It is their way of the old making way for the new. The trees shed away their leaves and flowers and fruit and become dry and lifeless during the fall. One may associate feeling of sadness and loss with it, but is it not a preparation for the new life, new leaves to blossom. This is the way with the trees - they remain constant with the source/fountain of life within them while changes continue on the surface - leaves fall, leaves grow again, flowers bloom, become fruits and the fruits are taken away; the cycle repeats.

Suchitra reflected on their lives and the morning visit to the mall; they have grown and accumulated many things, possessions, small and big. Maybe it is time for them to give away some of those things to people who may need it and utilise it more. After all, how many things do two old people need. Maybe that will make way for new experiences for them or a new life.