Nenikekamen (We were victorious!)

the chains that hold us back
can they never be broken
the marks they leave on our legs
too deep and hard to soften ?
fated are we too like the moth to die
by the cocoons we weave around ourselves
too afraid to swim across the ocean
are we to decay marooned in a swamp island

how many times must we fail
just to gain strength for next,
how many trials must the heart face
to know for sure what is best.
they monkey sure tries to climb up
but slips more on the greased pole,
the waves are but mighty and are more,
enough to keep us fafrom shore.
what stops us to stop, clean all the scum and filth
that nauseates our being and poisons the soul

the treaded paths of habit
must we follow like lambs,
can't we run alone into the jungles
chase, hunt or die in pursuit of the catch
what is so general and acceptable,
in the general lack of sense and direction
cold and distant to all,
we move in extremes of hope and frustration
must the whip lie with the ring master
the lion: deluded as a meek lamb,
keep denying his own reflection

not by mere chance or favour,
no waiting anymore.
we demand our victory by now
our birthright, our nature it is,
either we do or we die by
what we are set to achieve!

Pheidippides must proclaim
"Nenikekamen" after the marathon.
even if he runs to a cul de sac or worse
to a crowd dumb ,
No stops, no option, no rest for him
Run or run, run and run.

worshipping false GODs!!

This was a place where I went for solace, for strength and for hope during one of the darkest periods of my life. Rejected, denounced, mocked, humiliated and even ridiculed I went there without much expectations. Somehow, I had gathered the most of my concentration and sincerity and went with folded hands to pray (as it should be on most cases for nothing). Then I had one of the best experiences I could hope for, the details of which I would omit here as it runs the risk of diluting from the main issue. This was a small open temple of Lord Hanuman (the monkey-god who is an epitome of devotion and service to Lord Rama). There was a huge five faced structure of the Lord, almost 15-20ft high. The structure was matching with the incomparable strength and stature of Hanuman. The sign-board of this place read ashram (small on too-a few sadhus taking shelter along the National Highway).
O! I mentioned it. National Highways, roads on which India will march to economic prosperity and well being for its citizens. This time too I wanted to stop over at the ashram and seek divine intervention for some resolution in my mind. What place could be better than this Panchamukhi mandir where years ago I unknowingly and unsuspectingly had a wonderful and memorable divine experience. Besides this was a place where you could walk into anytime and wont be away from Lord’s sight and vice-versa.
I could not see the imposing stone structure, the benign, kind eyes of the Lord, the majestic Gada, the broad shoulders and the upraised palm of the Lord blessing all and one passing on the great National Highway, or stopping over to read chalisa, or just wandering there. Did I misjudge the location, was I seeking the signs too early or too late?
Sadly neither! I could see the familiar orange color, the strong arms, the weapon felled, the large kind eyes – all lying down on ground. I could not but help myself to ia scene of war, the great warrior conquered and slayed. The ashram was nowhere seen, neither were any priest or sadhus around. I my hands were still, so were my eyes, I did not have the courage to stop and ask what happened. I rode on the golden roads and my eyes were soon filled with tears due to fast driving or otherwise. Strong winds? Tree uprooting etc?
Nah!-This had withstood the super cyclone. I had reached the Kali temple This too had a similar story to offer. It could not be mistaken any more. It was Man.
I drove like crazy hence forth, the speed of my scooter was only matched with the frenzy of my mind. How could they? Who? Why on earth? The roads are wide enough, and there are not that many vehicles. For ___’s sake why?
I could not gather anything else, the road, the people driving besides me, the horns, the stray dog on the road. All around me I could see the felled head of the lord and his benign eyes appearing in flashes. What could man trust now? How could one refer to the Lord as Almighty anymore. What is most important to our lives ? The thoughts were just too many and coming too fast.

The entire structure of faith however rickety was about to collapse under these recent discoveries. We have accused him of being biased, partial, hubristic, of being someone who silently observes all that is wrong in this world and does not do anything about it even though he jolly well can. Now - he can not even help himself. What message are we supposed to get from this. Already there is a huge crisis of faith in this world.

Is faith just a matter of temporary fashion or one of the numerous avenues of spending time. Is it all these images of our faith were meant to convey?
Well be it. We don't need those icons, those idols, those temples, those mosques, those churches, those songs, those hyms; yes we lack sincerity, yes we do a lot of things we do not understand or believe in, but at least we get solace for some moments, we get hope among all the despair and angst around us- at least we pretend. Don't take that away from us. Please not in that manner at least.
We heard that "God helps them who help themselves" well God- you decide where do you stand now.
As for me one can never take away that moment of inspiration, those benign eyes will be ever the same, whether 15ft high , on ground or in my mind.

chahta kya hai??

Chahta kya hai?

Such an important question that we must ask ourselves from time to time. What is that we want from life? If we go down to people and ask them to write it on a paper what is they want, don’t be surprised to get back many empty papers and bullshit scribbled on quite a few others.

When we don’t even know what is that we want from life, what is that we want to do, it is unfair to crib that life has not been fair to us. If you know what it is that you want (two very important words – you and want) then I believe most of the problem is solved.

Let us drill down further; You – Only you. It must be yours, your own, not borrowed, not inspired, not forced, not handed over, not an afterthought but something that has only to do with you. Something that has only one stakeholder (excuse my jargon) – that is you. No one else. Something you would pick out of all other things if given a free choice by GOD (or an equal power).

Want – again very important. Not for a passing moment, not for dabbling, not for fashion, not even for ‘feel good’ for sometime but want. Like we want air to breathe, water to drink and food to eat. Something that it inexorable and not inter changeable with anything else. Can you breathe anything else (perfumed and branded Nitrogen or Argon), can you drink wine/honey instead of water and survive. Want, which you would not or can not compromise.

What is the problem then. Again these two words. People don’t know who is that I. They confuse it with peers, family, society, nation and many others. Everything but not their own selves, not they – stand alone. I don’t want to elaborate you understand (You).

It is very different; this word – want. We may need something and not get it, we may desire for something else and get something else, we may aspire for something and not get close enough but it is not possible that we want something and do not get it or we ask for something and not be given (even Jesus Christ guarantees this – ask and it shall be given). We would cease to exist otherwise. As I said before No compromise.

So, look yourself in the eye and ask – Chahta kya hai?