a sunday afternoon

i thought of my mother,
had just talked to my sister,
not again in the day with my dad,
family - out of contention.

good friends, not so good ones too,
cousins distant and the nearer ones,
some busy on their phones, some
not reachable they said, thank you for that

her ? been so long now,
don't know what to say and what not to,
yeah, don't even have her number for that,
new flames, old flames, would be and could be flames
are mere flames after all.

Am I still thinking, of whom to call,
When the person I should be talking to is myself.
Am I thinking what to write,
Do I have to write, or think
or do both in a vague priority order ?
For me, or for readers,
for joy, for encomiums or anything of that order,
too much in my head now,
chuck it, leave it,
write it, leave it.