what makes us US?

In relation to men and women, what both don't realise sometimes in their incessant efforts to get better or get different is that, the core of their beings is almost unchangeable/unalterable and what they may do at best is manage an impression of it and that too for a very short interval of time. It would also be very ordinary and foolish on their parts to seek regard and care of the other for anything other than that core. Change, if any is to be measured by the magnitude of it and with respect to the core of that person. Again, we have to guard against the perception of change (for the concerned person and for concerned observers) as against real change - look for the actions rather than the words, look for behaviour rather than the claims, look for results rather than the intent.

The best features or rather the main features that makes a man him(what he is) and makes a woman her(what she is), other than of course his/her actions could be many and vary according to taste but that they would be of something of more static and permanent of nature is beyond debate.

With respect to a woman :
the light in her eyes
the liveliness of spirit
the tenderness in her touch
the perseverance in her breath
the depth of her forbearance
the strength of her soul

With respect to a man :
the sincerity in his eyes
the intensity of his brows
the trust on his forehead
the truth in his voice
the assurance pronounced by the sound of his footsteps
the strength of his character

Now how much can one do about one or some of these things. If we reflect upon the way we spend our days and things we do to make a change, to ourselves and to what we want to project of ourselves, we would realise that we hardly scratch the surface of those core areas. Even if we realise that these are the things we should do something about, how much can we actually do; say with only our volition?