Wednesday 21 January 2009

the need for not to talk gibberish

I have been used to this now - going to Prithvi alone to catch one or the other of the brilliant plays that they stage there. The following was a reaction to the people and the few minutes before the play starts.
__________

everyone, almost everyone was talking.
with people-of course, known and unknown.

WHY
nothing better to do,
wanted to talk
can't help it!
don't get much time together,
long time yea,
he is funny, thats why,
impress, impressed?
what else?
why not?


WHAT
oh ! this and that.
Office, office and ummm...well office!
sex, women, men, homosexuality.
pedicure, olive, papaya, treadmill,
wine, beer, death by chocolate,
where we had dinner, yesterdat, last week,
the week before, last month, the month before.
about everyone else !
nothhing yaar,
food, movies, SRK, darjeeling,
don't remember acually, who does?


CAN'T
stare and not ogle.
just sit and be comfortable.
shake and not fetter.
listen and not speak.
be and not acknowledged.
think and not fumble.
speak and not to anyone
listen and not from anyone.

CAN'T
do nothing.
look at blank spaces.
wring my hands for long.
sit at one place without having to move.
be busy with myself.
see the need, not to talk gibberish.

Sunday 18 January 2009

haircut

Couple of days back, I met one of my nephews. The 6 year old shares his pet name with me. The boy’s father was busy with some repair work and his mother with cooking. After trying to keep the boy amused (read not bored) with many silly and not-so-silly games I decided it was time to tell him a story. The same story is reproduced here.
There lived a very big bear in a very big jungle. His name was Kalu. Kalu was very upset. Kalu’s black hair had grown very very long. The long hair was a cause of worry to Kalu. It got stuck in the bushes, it fell over his eyes and hampered his vision, it attracted mosquitoes and lice and most importantly it made him look untidy and ugly.
Kalu wanted to get a haircut but there was no proper barber in the jungle.
Kalu put up a notice at the bank of the yellow pond and the blue river most animals frequented for drinking water. The notice read “Whosoever cuts the hair of Kalu- the bear, shall get a lots of honey in reward”
Kalu waited for the whole day, no one arrived. Kalu was becoming impatient and irritated. Then, Kalu saw Kalia – the crow coming towards his den.
“Good evening Kalu Sir!”
“Good evening Kalia, what brings you here?”
“What else but your notice at the pond, Kalu Sir”
“Do you know of any proper barber Kalia?”
“No one can cut your hair better than me. Look at my beaks, they are exactly like the scissors that Men use for cutting each others hair. I have seen the men at the nearby village having haircut. I shall use my beaks as scissors and cut all your hair. Then you will also look good as the men do after they have a haircut.”
“Really Kalia? I would be so thankful to you. You could have as much honey you want.”
Kalia started cutting Kalu’s hair. Kalia had really observed the haircutting of men very closely. Kalia was doing a fantastic job to begin with, but Kalia had two big problems. One that Kalia was getting very tired of using its beaks as scissors and fluttering its wings to stay on air and the other was that Kalia had to bring its face really close to Kalu’s body to cut his hair and his hair got into Kalia’s eyes. As a result, the pointed beaks of Kalia, used to pierce into Kalu’s body. Kalu tolerated this for the first, second and the third time, but the next time it happened Kalu lost his temper. Kalu grabbed then same beaks of the crow and shouted – “ You foolish crow, I am sure no man would have tried to cut another ones hair by injuring him so many times with the scissors or whatever they call it. Get lost or I shall break your beaks.”
Kalia somehow managed to get out of that place.
The next morning Kalu saw, Maima – the cow waiting outside his den.
“I can cut your hair well. Just the same way I graze upon grass.”
Kalu looked at the cow, and then at her teeth. They were neat, symmetrical and sharp. Kalu thought – Whats the harm in trying her out.
“Be careful though, I have had a very bad experience yesterday with another one pretending to be a proper barber”
Maima started cutting the bear’s hair by grabbing a mouthful and then using her sharp teeth to cut and pull it out. Kalu was strong and withstood the pull. Kalu did not particularly like the style of the cow. The cows have a habit of chewing the same things over and over again and in the process take their tounge out.
Maima, did the same. After it had chewed of some of Kalu’s hair, it chewed it again and again and its wet toungue touched Kalu’s skin.
Kalu thundered - “Ewwww. You dirty idiot. How on earth can you cut someone’s hair like that?”
“That’s the only way I know”
“Be gone, you have already spoilt my morning”
Kalu had given up hope.
“Kalu brother, I can be of some help to you”, said a tiny ant from some distance.
“You ! A small ant, and what help can you render. If you start cutting my hair it would take you thousand years to cut all of them” said Kalu.
“Dear brother leave that to me and my group of ants” said the ant whose name was Rani.
“But how would you do it. More small ants are still small ants and let me remind you I have had two horrible experiences. I can ill afford another one”
“Don’t bother, but you have to do one help to us”
“Tell me”
“You eat as much honey as you want to in the evening but before going to sleep please smear some of it on your body. You surely cannot dislike the smell of honey would you?”
“Ok I will do that”
Kalu went to sleep that night after smearing some honey over his hair all over his body.
He was not sure how the ants are going to do their job. But he had no option.
The next morning Kalu woke up and found a whole pile of hair all around his body.
He went to the pond and saw his reflection. His hair was cut neatly and uniformly.
He was very happy and impressed with the ants. He took out some honey and called for the ants.
The ants came out of small holes led by Rani.
“How did you guys do it?” asked a pleasantly surprised Kalu.
“ Kalu brother, we work as a team and with a lot of planning and organization. Remember last night we asked you to smear some honey on your hair. We formed groups among ourselves and divided your body into 6 parts. Your head, your 4 limbs and rest of your body. Then we set ourselves a goal. The goal was to collect as much honey as possible from your body and in the process each ant would climb on each of your hair and cut it at the point where a drop of honey was found!”
“Brilliant, you guys earn yourself this whole pot of honey. Enjoy” saying this Kalu handed them the whole pot of honey.